A good reason for being away

In my last post, I mentioned some shoulder pain that wouldn't go away and I must have done something really bad to my shoulder and that's why I couldn't do any sort of exercise. Well, there was a great reason for that pain!

Turns out, I was suffering from bilateral pulmonary emboli, which is fancy-schmancy speak for quite a few blood clots in both of my lungs. That was extraordinarily fun to find out on a Monday morning, and even more fun to find out I'd be spending the next 5 days in the hospital. Given that last Saturday was my first morning out of the hospital, I did not post an update.

But alas, here I am with my new Coumadin regimen. I am doing better, the shoulder pain is gone (by the way, the pain was from portions of my lung suffering from loss of oxygenation. Bad stuff!), and I am starting to get more energy back. I will not be exercising quite yet....I still get dizzy easily. It's not really dizzy in the normal dizzy-sense. The best way I can describe it is if you think about how you feel when you don't eat all day and you try to do some sort of physical work....that's how I feel all day. Except I am eating, I swear!

And on the eating front, I am doing fairly well still. I have eaten out twice since my return - once the day of my release because we needed lunch pronto and everything at home required too much time, and again this weekend. Both times were fairly decent meals - I did not overdo it at either. I am having a harder time this past week with willpower. I really really really want stuff that isn't good for me. Only once did I break down. Yes, I did it, I am admitting. I had twizzler filled twists. You just don't understand how ridiculously good these things are. Re-dic-you-lus.

Anyway! Despite my twizzlers and 2 eat-outs, I have done very well over the past two weeks, losing 5 lbs. Clothes are fitting better, or worse...but worse because they're starting to hang and that looks bad. But it's a good bad. :)

This week's numbers:
Weight: 173.2
BMI: 27.1

Feeling good about that! I'm on the lower half of the 170's, which means pretty soon I'll be in the 160's. I'm so so so excited. I'm almost halfway to my goal! This blog, for whatever reason, has helped to kick me in the ass and get me going. I knew something had to work eventually!

I skipped a week!

Ahhh but never fear. I did not skip a week due to weakness and laziness. No, I simply put myself in a heavy travel-for-work situation and felt like doing absolutely nothing last Saturday as it was one of my 1.5 days home in a week's time. I guess that could fall under the definition of laziness, but I place it in the category of worth it.

I know the suspense is killing you, so here is my weight, along with this month's measurements:
Weight: 178.2
BMI: 27.9
Waist: 39"  
Hips: 43.5"

It has been much easier to not eat crap on a daily basis, and I have been able to contain my inner-pig when eating out at restaurants. Steve and I have not eaten anything out in weeks, which has saved us an incredible amount of money and calories. We never really ate at sit-down restaurants, but subway, sonic, chik-fil-a, etc add up. Unfortunately, I am forced to eat at restaurants when I travel for work. And I am very happy to report that at each one I visited, I ate off of the lighter, skinny, or lowcal menu. I've found it easy to do so and the weight loss has helped with that.

Laziness is still a part of my life. I do not exercise. I know that this magic loss will end and I will need to get up and do something in order to continue losing. My current excuse is this horrible pain in my shoulder/neck/back that I think is a result of some sort of pulled muscle thing going on. Deep breaths hurt, laying on my back hurts....hopefully in a day or so it will go away. Because I am surely not going to be running or dancing around to zumba with it the way it is.

So there it is...one month later, a little over 10 pounds lost. I don't think I will maintain a 10 pound/month loss rate, especially if I don't start exercising, but I'm going to bask in it while I can. Feeling really positive about myself and very motivated. On to month two!

I.M. Sweat-E

Well, I did it. I got off my lazy ass and did something that required physical exertion, turned my face red, and made me sweaty. I zumba'd. Go me.

Now, let's not get all excited here - I may have turned on the zumba, but I did so tonight. Technically, I did not complete last week's goal. Are we surprised? We shouldn't be, because this is what lazy people do...we make goals. We say, "I am going to do this!!", and we never ever do it. But I'm making progress, slow progress.

Weight as of Saturday, 8/4:
181.2

I do feel good about the loss. It really helps when the (food) sacrifices you make pay off. It's when I don't lose despite doing everything right that I start getting frustrated. I know that day is coming, it's a natural part of the weight loss process, so I best ready myself and get my willpower going while it's good.

This week I only ate out once, and it was because I had made shopping plans with a friend that happened to last over a meal time. It was not our usual "we don't feel like cooking tonight so let's go get fast food", so I feel okay about that. We went to cheesecake factory where I proceeded to order off of the skinnylicious menu - the White Chicken Chili. Folks, if you've never had it and you're looking for a darn good soupy chili thing, seriously get it. It is GOOD. And they say it's under 590 calories....so I'll say it's about 700 (let's be realistic). For a meal, that's not damn bad.

Our challenge is really cooking. We need things that will last for several meals/days that we can easily reheat during the week. Unfortunately, a lot of the things that we have in our cooking repertoire that fall in that category also fall in the not-so-great-for-you category. Like lasagna. It lasted 4 days, lunches and dinners! But I'm pretty sure it was not the best thing I could have been eating. Also in our quick but no good arsenal - spaghetti w/kielbasa or meatballs, or manwich. Yes, we eat like bachelors.

I have felt positive about how well I've been doing. It's been easy to turn down the constant offerings of sweets and foods at work, as well as the lunch date requests. Oh, how I would love to say yes, and I almost did on Friday. What is it about Fridays that makes us want to spend our money on lunches? But I resisted.

This week, and next, will be a test. I will be traveling Wed-Fri, and then again next Monday through Wednesday or Thursday. With travel, comes no cooking. And this week's travel will likely involve some lunches or dinners with work-folk, so I can't even just grab a salad at the grocery store for dinner if that's the case.

So with the last couple of weeks' positive progress, I move forward and face my travel challenges. Next Saturday's weight will tell the truth!

One week down

I have survived a week. Of course, with the help of my cheating ways. 

This week's weight (as of Saturday):

184.4

I learned something this week! Blogging takes up time. I had an incredibly busy week at work which required after hours creation of trainings and I thought about picking up the laptop at night. But that's as far as things got. 

Losses: 

Best pizza we've found in Texas.

- I had a diet soda or two (or five)

- I have yet to make it to the gym.

- I most definitely did not go to Weight Watchers yesterday. I have a good excuse - my last weight there was somewhere around 181, and it will do more damage to my already cracked willpower to see a higher number on the scale there. So....I will need to wait until I am back there. Hopefully next week? Realistically, the week after. 

- I had movie popcorn. And sour punch straws. But it was during the IMAX showing of the Dark Knight Rises. How is that not warranted???

- I had pizza at Cavalli's for lunch one day.

Wins:

- I chose very well when I was forced to eat out at restaurants due to traveling for work. And I only drank iced tea at said restaurants.

- I only had half the pizza.

- We cooked!

- My snacking has been limited to low-cal frozen fruit bar things from walmart. They're actually really good and don't cost a fortune....the trick is not to eat 3 of them in one sitting. 

Things are back to a somewhat normal pace in life this week. I need to figure out a way to get some exercise in. I have Zumba Rush for Xbox, and it's fun. But I think I piss off the downstairs neighbors when I do it. The last time I was consistently getting my zumba on, we had a phone call from the front office about the noise. No, I'm too nice. Too bad for them....I'll risk the call. Look at me, being a rebel. All in the name of Skinny!!

Goals this week:

Piss off the neighbors (zumba)

No. More. Soda. 

This week's menu is planned. Goals are in place. Off I go - looking for more wins next week. 

Home...and stats

We're finally home from vacation, and it's time to put up my stats. Before I do that, though, I'll share what I've learned this week.

Meet Bucc-ee

- Just because you don't feel yourself getting fatter does not mean you can continue eating until your stomach hurts.
- Eating until your stomach hurts is a Very Bad Idea. One of those things you will regret 100% of the time.
- Bucc-ee's is an amazing truck stop on road trips, filled only with things to eat that are horrible for you. Beaver Nuggets, anyone? Think corn pops covered in caramel. Your mouth is watering too, isn't it?
- It is very possible to gain back 9 of the 10 pounds you spent a month working hard to lose, in just a week.

I say I learned these things...I should probably say that I relearned them. I knew all of this before I even embarked on my journey to the Texas Coast. And once again, the reason for this blog. I have no will power! Beaver nuggets, yum! Twizzlers, yum! Steak, brownie sundae, burritos, chips, yum yum yum! This just has to end.

So here I am. Home, back in the routine, and most importantly, no excuses. I share my starting weight and measurements. I will update my weight every Saturday. I will go to the Weight Watchers meetings that I have been paying for, and I will go every weekend I am able (the only excusable absence is Ryan's soccer games, usually inconveniently scheduled around the same time as meetings). I will do some form of exercise at least three times per week, to start. I will not drink any soda, even diet. I will make this happen, for once in the last 6 years I've been 'trying'.

Measurements - 7/21/12
Height - 5' 7"
Weight - 188.8 lbs
BMI - 29.6
Waist - 40"
Hips - 44.5"
Clothing size - 14, sometimes a 12 if I'm lucky

The Last Hurrah

Well, if you start a blog, you need to write in it. What's the point if you're going to make your public proclamation and then ignore the thing for days?

Unfortunately, I had the extremely good sense to start my venture while on vacation. While every meal I have is coming from a restaurant or a microwave, and while the word 'exercise' is non-existent.

Tonight is our last night on vacation, so it's the last hurrah, so to speak. When you go on a diet or decide that you're going to finally lose some weight, what's the last thing you do? You eat the worst possible meal you can think of! If you think about it, it really makes absolutely no sense at all. You are adding to what you need to lose! If it was 50 pounds, well now make it 55, thanks to the triple chocolate brownie sundae you just had to have.

If it's not bigger, it's in the shape of Texas.

This week, I have indulged in waffles on a daily basis. Not just any waffle, these are Texas-shaped waffles. In case you were wondering, every city in Texas has the shape of Texas everywhere - billboards, signs, pamphlets, waffles. Seriously proud.

In addition to the waffle-indulgence, we have snacked our way through the land of high-fat and cheap. I couldn't stay away from my Favorite Snack Ever, even for a week - sweet n sour twizzler twists. If you have never had them, I highly recommend never going near them. Highly addictive. I will eat the whole bag in one sitting, likely within a half hour. A great way to spend 1000 calories, I'm sure.

So after my margaritas and twizzlers and brownie fudge sundae, we head home tomorrow. Tomorrow, which will also be a horrible day for nutrition. But I will be home, and with the promise of better food, better choices, and more exercise. I will also have the opportunity to post my "beginning" stats - can you believe it, a girl will actually be revealing her true weight! I know, you're on the edge of your seats in anticipation. I can tell.

The prerequisite "beginning" post

I am not a blogger. It took me well over an hour to set this up, the majority of which consisted of picking colors and fonts. To say the least, I am indecisive. I'm also fairly lazy. Which leads to the "why" behind giving up the last hour of my life to pick colors and fonts. I am lazy. I eat poorly. I'm considered overweight and on the border of being obese. I have no willpower. And I'm turning thirty this year.

My age shouldn't have anything to do with how I eat or how much I weigh, but for some reason I've decided that I'm not okay with turning thirty with a Body Mass Index over 25 (FYI - a BMI over 25 makes you overweight; 30+ makes you obese).

I have tried many, many, different things to force some semblance of willpower on myself from bribes to a buddy-system to an inner-drill sergeant voice telling me how lazy I'm being. The latter of which, by the way, does nothing more than make you feel worse about yourself, in case you were thinking of trying it for yourself.

So here I am, picking colors and fonts to start a blog as a (semi) public proclamation of my refusal to turn thirty overweight. I will eat better. I will get off my lazy ass and do something, anything, that resembles exercise, and on a regular basis. I will lose weight, and I will do so this year.

This is my accountability. I don't think it will be glamorous or funny or even remotely interesting to read. But it will be real - if I am nothing else I am certainly honest - and will include my flaws and cravings and pure hatred of exercise, I'm sure. And if I think even one person is looking at this....well, that's enough to keep me motivated.